The beast COVID

The beast got me for a second time!

For those of you who have read my first posts, beginning on 4/13/2020, you know I started this blog to document my COVID journey in 2020.  That one was horrific, (A Day In The Life, 4/28/2020), this one not even close, but…

On Wednesday, 11/16/2023, this is what happened:

1.  I kept yawning all day long.

2.  I felt a spasm in my back, so bad I shouted “Shi.”  It was so quick, I didn’t get the “t” out to make the full word.  I haven’t had a backache since the surgery, so that was strange, but it served as a reminder that I do have a problem in the left lower back.  My sister Sandra who stopped by my office mentioned that I was walking with a tilt.

3.  I had 1/4 of a tuna wedge, the same sandwich eaten by seniors in our senior program at work.  Immediately following, I had spasms that felt like labor pains and in quick successions.  They lasted close to 1/2 hour.  I have eaten this sandwich weekly on Wednesdays for the past three weeks, so I knew my stomach could tolerate it. None of the seniors complained about stomach or other issues.

4.  I had a doctor’s appointment and the doctor was delayed.  I fell asleep on the examination table.  The thoughtful nurse turned down the light and covered me with a sheet.

5.  My nose started running that afternoon .

6.  Later at home that evening, I had chills and checked my temperature, which was 100.3.  I took Tylenol and went to bed.

The next morning, I continued to have chills, fever of 102.3, runny nose, coughing, a scratchy throat and the weakness of just feeling ill.  I did an at-home COVID test.  The line was solid and dark - no question about my positive status.  

So what do the spasms in my back and stomach have to do with COVID, I imagine you are asking?  It is my theory that the beast goes to your weak spot and attack. (It Doesn’t Go Away, 4/28/2020).  At my appointment at Mt. Sanai Post COVID Clinic a week ago, the PA and I had talked about COVID attacking your weak spot. 

If having COVID wasn’t bad enough, I passed out in the shower on Friday, 11/17.  I was not injured, but for a scratch on my left pinkie and soreness on my left shoulder and left buttock cheek.  The last thing I remember was feeling dizzy, closing my eyes and then seeing myself lying in the tub.  I was confused as to how I got there and stayed there for a while till the memory of the dizziness came back.  I have no memory of the fall.  It took me a while to pull myself from the bathtub.  Had I still have those extra 40 pounds (yes 40 which I had planned to celebrate in this week’s post) I would not have been able to pull myself out of the tub. My phone was in the bathroom, out of reach, but I just recently found out that I can access Siri from a locked screen.

Sister Sandra and Cousin Maxine (same cousin who was there for me with COVID 1, Drop and Run, 4/25/2020) rushed over to my house, Sandra leaving work to do so and Sister Leonie on the wait in NJ to see if she had to come over to allow Sandra to go back to work.  Maxine took me to the ER.  As with the first time that I passed out that led to my decision for bariatric surgery, the cause was dehydration, (A New Journey, 8/13).  Fever from COVID, a hot shower, not drinking enough water made for a possible deadly combination.

I had  plans for the weekend, Thanksgiving luncheon serving over 250 - I missed it.  I was to have traveled to DC right after to be with my daughter who needed me.  She was there for me with COVID 1, (Let Me Count The Ways, 4/23/2020) and with my bariatric surgery, (A Week Later, 8/21/2023).  I wasn’t there for her.  It wasn’t to be and one day I will know by and by. And then again, I may never know.

It is nothing short of miraculous that I did not injure myself.  Mother, Father God, the Universe, my ancestral mother and father were all there protecting my head.  There are horror stories about people hitting their heads and bleeding out. I had finished showering and had moved to the end of the tub, away from the shower heads to where my towel was and where I would dry off.  Had I still been in the area of the shower and bath heads… 

Gratitude!

The Old and New

 

My current and old emoji.  I am not just slimmer, I am younger.  Hah!  How did that happen!!  More pep in my steps, a new lease on life, I am healthier, I have more energy.  

Previously, some people would ask why I aged myself so much in my emoji, with all those wrinkles.  It was how I saw myself.  I am not now  thinking I am as young as the emoji depicts or will ever be, but I am at a more positive place in my life and mind.

I believe I can fly. 

An obsession…

 …with my waist.

Shadow of me, 10/26/2023.  Look at that waistline.  

Storytelling

On Saturday, 10/28/2023, I shared my journey through storytelling at a Tea Party hosted by my sister, Leonie at her home in New Jersey.

Heather's Kitchen Is Open

I am cooking again! I had my sister Sandra and cousin Maxine over for dinner on Saturday and my brother from another mother, Ian and his lady friend Gina, on Sunday.  I even baked a banana bread and made sorrel (a drink brewed from dried hibiscus).  I made enough of everything for them to have take out containers for dinner the next day.  

This is huge.  I cooked AND baked AND brewed with NO backache.  In between all of this, I did laundry, washed windows, vacuumed, dusted and cleaned. No backache!  Energy level on high! The old old Heather, of many years ago, is back!  Hallejuah!

It's not that I haven't been cooking, because I have, but just for myself, once or twice per week.  I bring lunch to work, but since I eat such small portions, I freeze most of it.  Cooking for others bring me joy and I am happy that I can once again. 

In the first photo below, notice the light beaming through my side.  That is called a waistline!  You probably can't see it, but the flabs in my upper back are disappearing. 

Plateau

No weight loss this week.  None.  Nada.  Thank Heavens, I had been told that my weight would plateau, because I would have thought I had done something wrong. So, I am still at 30 and I am ok.  This will allow my body to process the weight loss and prepare for the next round.  Well, that’s what I believe anyway.  It sounds logical and that’s good enough for me.

I drove to DC this weekend. Why is that significant on this journey of mine.  If not for the surgery, more than likely, I would not have made the trip.  My back would have been able to tolerate one hour increments of driving, meaning I would have to stop four times on this four hour journey.  At each stop, I would have had to peel myself out the car, then pull my spine up, which would still  have left me bent and in pain.  On this trip, I made one pit stop each way, with no issues getting out the car or standing.    

The past problem with driving would not just be my back talking to me, it had been actual advice from my previous physical therapist, chiropractor and sister Bev, the physical therapist extraordinaire, who resides in Jamaica.  12 sessions each of Physical Therapy and Chiropractic Services had not helped so I had given up on them.  Bev started. treating me virtually, however, she was doing exercises with me.  When I questioned her, she said I needed to lose the weight.  She was the only one who told me my weight had something to do with my back pain.  By this time, however, I had already made up my mind to have surgery, which Bev opposed.  With my weight loss and already better quality of life, I think she has come around.

I am blessed to have a great medical team at White Plains Hospital Bariatric Group.  I am also blessed to have a team who have had bariatric surgery.  I have been able to call on them, pre and post surgery.  It is my hope to share their stories in future postings, along with before and after photos, of course with their permission. 

White Plains Hospital Bariatric team, Dr Philip Weber and Coordinator Sandi Gallo

Thirty and counting

 What does the loss of 30 pounds look and feel like:

My 60s have never felt this young and I am closer to 70, than 60.

Daughter who saw me two weeks ago, stares incredulously at me this past weekend.   

My triple chin is down to double.

My double protruding belly is down to one.

I am fitting in pants where I don’t have to count to 100 as I take a deep breath for the zipper to go up and do it again to close the button. I can now breathe!

My dresses and tops now go over my belly, without having to tug them down. 

I  can bend to pick up things from the floor and not having to kick it/them over to a wall to hold onto, then bend, or asking someone to pick it/them up for me.  My belly no longer gets in the way!

My butt is no longer pointing up, out of alignment with my spine.  

Standing tall because I am no longer bent with back pain.

Walking tall, with a pep in my step from new found energy.

When I stand akimbo, with my hand on my side, there is a sunken place for it to rest, called a waist.  Yes, lawd, I have a waistline!!

.

 

 

My New Normal

Going back to regular eating comes with its own challenges.  Intentional eating, I have to keep reminding myself, sometimes after the fact.  Take the day, I went to a breakfast meeting.  The only thing on the menu I could eat was fruits, a fruit bowl with six different fruit (strawberry, cantaloupe, pineapple, mango, blueberry, honey dew).  Instead of putting one or two fruit in the cup, I had them all (small portion, of course) and paid for it, with a tightness in my rib and breast cage.  And now I don’t know which is the culprit.  Woe is me!  When will I learn!!  The truth though, is it has been a good week.  I am even back to eating Jamaican, having reintroduced ackee and saltfish, and to my delight, it went down well.  I also had  tastes of small amounts of rice and peas and escovitched fish.  I made beef pumpkin soup with beef bone and that also went down well.  

My body has gotten used to not eating after 6pm, even if I have had only two meals for the day.  I  bring lunch to work and try to keep a regular eating schedule, but one day when my schedule was thrown off and I didn’t eat lunch until I got home at 4, I planned to have dinner at 8, but that wasn’t to be.  I wasn’t hungry and didn’t want to eat.

My blood pressure has been elevated and I had to go back on BP meds.  I haven’t been able to figure out why.  

This Wednesday, I will have my first meeting with the surgeon post surgery (my first appointment was canceled because he was called into surgery).  I will weigh in and post the results next week.  

I am so happy for this week’s summer temperature.  I will get to wear clothes that will not fit next summer and are now fitting properly, with a swing and not tight and rolling up on me. In my back closet, I have items with size 18 tags, which I bought over the years with plans to lose weight and fit into them.  The time is almost here.   

I am getting such favorable comments, not just about the weight loss which is more noticeable in my upper area, but my demeanor.  I am peppy.  I don’t slouch and wear that pain scowl from my once constant back pain.  

Barber not available so I gave myself a haircut.

My face is more elongated and my triple chin is down to double

The Real Test To Begin

There would have been nothing much to report this week, but for a bug that took me out on Wednesday, 9/20.  It brought me chills, a low grade temperature and kept me in bed through 5pm.  It continued to sap my energy through Thursday.  I tested negative for COVID.  On Friday and through the weekend, I had jolts of energy that would wane by the pm. 

I had my first visit to a restaurant, where I ordered from the children's menu, with no shame.  I was able to get two portions from that one  plate.  I will be saving food $$$ during this journey.

Tomorrow, 9/26 I will transition to “normal,” my new normal that is.  I will be bringing back foods I haven’t eaten in six weeks, including fruits and vegetables.  The goal is to bring them back slowly, with intention, remembering the size of my new stomach, where I can hurt myself by what I eat and the quantity.  I have to continue to chew my foods and not bite and swallow, which was my practice of old.  I must drink fluids a half hour after each meal.  

It will all be a challenge, but I am up to it.  

             Before and after photos below show how well my scars are healing

 

Intention

 The good news is that I am down 17 pounds, having weighed in at the hospital, one month after surgery on Thursday, September 14th.

I sabotage my healing, not intentionally, but intentionally because if I were more intentional, I would not have painful episodes.  Take for instance, that same Thursday, the 14th. I attended my first event where I will have lunch and in my mind, I will have the usual hotel fare - chicken.  But it wasn't that kind of meal.  Instead we had offerings of pinwheel sandwiches, turkey and beef.  I don’t eat turkey, so without thinking I choose the beef, unwrapping the pin wheel and eating just the roast beef.  That was insanity!  I am only allowed soft meats and no matter how thin that beef was and how I chewed each bite 20 plus times, it went down as saw dust, with sprinkling of splinters.  

Did I have choices?  Yes.  I could have ordered in, could have gone to the bar and ordered a meal from there.  I could have left to find food elsewhere.  Not eating was not an option.  I have been down that road before, but it would have been a better option than the beef.

Now even if I had reached the next phase where I reintroduce foods I have not eaten in a while, I have been warned that beef should be the last thing to be brought back.  That beef tore up my stomach that day, the evening into the next morning!  Friday evening, my stomach started to spasm.  I have talked about agony in prior posts, however, nothing compared to this.  I told my daughter, who was visiting, that if the pain and spasm didn’t subside in a half hour (this is after two hours) she would have to take me to the emergency room.  Somehow my bowels almost always hear my desperate cries, because shortly after, I received relief, not as a sonic boom this time, but like a water burst.

I am on a mission to being kind to myself, by intention.  

And still I have no regrets!

I have changed up the dress for comparison going forward.  This dress is an XL, imagine that!  It looks like it fits, but pay attention to the side view and pocket.  It will be a true fit when the pockets no longer show.

45 Years Ago Today

Today, I am taking a break from my bariatric journey to celebrate my daughter.

 

I Survived Phase 2

For those of you reading my story who may be considering weight loss surgery, please remember that this is my story.  Yours may be different.  

After my last post, things went downhill.  I thought my body would process the lactose-free protein drink as it did before surgery.  Wrong!  My stomach and the whole body cavity went into a spiral spin, with the milk coagulating in my bottom belly (my assessment) and the gas working its way aroung the top lining and making the top body cavity so sore.  I was in agony.  So what do I do??!!  Go back to sipping on clear fluids.  No protein!  No nutrients! And I got weak and lethargic, along with everything else.  I had to add meat protein:  mashed up tuna, eggs, chicken, salmon and take multivitamins and B12 to regain my strength.  Jamaican chicken soup became my gas saviour,  moving the gas around and giving me the bowel movement I needed, a sonic boon.  TMI, you say.  You can't read me if you don't want the truth, nothing but the truth... LOL  

My pea, literally pea-sized stomach can only hold 3 ounces of food.  I have been good about it, with the exception of this one day, I drank my non dairy protein shake which I had thickened with avocado and fruit, and had more than the stomach could hold.  I had the most excruciating pain and nausea, and each time there was peristalsis (opening and closing of the digestive tract, one of the only things I remember in biology), it got worse.  It was almost like labor pain.  It solidified to me that 3 ounce is 3 ounce.

I survived Phase 2 and am now on to Phase 3, Soft Foods, for which I have had practice in Phase 2.  I expect it to be the homestretch to my new normal, for which I am ready.

I am off my blood pressure medication and have no backache.  

Though Phase 2 tried me, it didn't knock me out.  I am still here with:

No Regrets!

Photos from the past two weeks show that I am getting a waist line and my hip and stomach are slimming some.  You may have noticed I have not posted my weight loss.  On Thursday, a month since my surgery, I will weigh-in at the hospital and post my before and after weight. 

Phase 2

This phase started out as problematic.  It calls for a high protein intake, with 90% of the recommended foods being dairy and beans, both for which I have a high intolerance.  My race, ethnicity and age came into play. 

“Lactose intolerance is most common in people of African, Asian, Hispanic and American Indian descent.”  https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/lactose-intolerance/symptoms-causes/syc-20374232

“Approximately 75 percent of the African-American population is lactose intolerant..”  https://blackdoctor.org/african-americans-lactose-intolerance/

I am at the top of that 75%. 

I don’t have the statistics for older people and intolerance for beans, but I have stories going way back to my childhood to present, where seniors describe flatulence and bloating caused by the intake of beans. It is also my story. There are many ways to remove the gas from beans, however, for me, I have a higher than usual intolerance, even when these methods are used. 

https://www.tasteofhome.com/article/degassing-beans/#:~:text=This%20is%20by%20far%20the,and%20rinsing%20every%20three%20hours.

My protein shake is lactose-free, however, used in combination (not together, but during the day) with other dairy products, yogurt, ricotta cheese, cottage cheese, was too much.  I think I am not just lactose intolerant, I am dairy intolerant. I didn’t dare add beans.  

Thursday through Saturday, I had my worst days yet, suffering through the discomfort of bloating, heaviness, gas pain, low energy and a general feeling of malaise.  Friday evening through Saturday, I decided to stop the dairy and cleanse my system by going back to fluids.  By Saturday evening, I received relief and enjoyed my best day since surgery, even going to a reggae concert and standing and rocking to the music.  

I decided to take things into my own hands.  I puréed fish and chicken separately with broth and while the taste was good, the look was insipid and the smell too strong that they made me nauseous.  I eat with my senses, so this option does not work for me.  

I have introduced avocado.  I rationalized that the reason given was that avocado was too heavy, I could make it lighter than the yogurt on the list.  I  also brought back the lactose-free protein drink as the only dairy I will have.  (The only non dairy milk on my approved food list is soy.  For someone bean intolerant, soy milk does not work). The avocado and protein drink make a delicious combination (2 ounces protein drink and 1/4 avocado give the 3 ounces I am allowed per meal).   

I have eight more days to go on puréed foods and know that I cannot be sustained by avocado alone, so today, I am going to cook and crush salmon down to pate-like and try that.  I am researching other foods to give me the 60 grams of protein I need daily.  Next up for me will be a booklet/insert on what to include in foods for the lactose, dairy and bean intolerant and/or The Black Guide to Bariatric Surgery and The Old Fart Guide to Bariatric Surgery, which will have one entry, "No Beans."

This experience was not supposed to be a walk in the park.  I stubbed my toe, fell on this walk, got up and kept moving… 

With no regrets.

I have been looking at the belly and butt as measurements, but I have to remember that I am bloated. I look wider because of the closeness of the after photos.  The butt has fallen, and the bump in the middle that contributed to my lower back pain is gone.  The weight loss is showing more in the profile.  Notice the arms and face.  

The shrinking face

Ending Phase 1

 Two weeks down and I am almost at 💯. 

It hasn’t been without its ups and downs. 

Let me tell you about Tuesday, a week and a day after surgery!  Before I do that let me tell you about me.  My body does not have a food clock.  I have conditioned myself over the years to have breakfast.  However, more times than not, it will be 4pm, and I will realize I haven’t had lunch.  But no, not this particular Tuesday.  I woke up wanting/needing breakfast, and not breakfast of clear fluids.  I wanted a shake, ackee and saltfish, bacon and eggs; I had water.  At about 12/1pm, I wanted lunch.  I saw an ad on tv for peanut butter and jelly, which I dislike, however, if I could, I would have jumped through the screen and demolished that PB&J.  I had to chew my jello to pretend I was eating and added another one to my evening dinner of broth, when the clock told me it was dinner time.  That was my most difficult day.  Thank heavens it lasted only one day.

The next day, I had a rush of energy.  I taxed my brain that morning through the afternoon, working on projects for my job.  I was busted that evening throughout the next few days.  I can’t contribute it all to the overwork; I am sure most of it was because of the lack of nutrients. 

So, how does it all measure up?

The Good

• No pain.
• Weight is coming down.
• Gas and bloating have dissipated a lot.
• Energy level is going up.
• Except for that one day, no feeling of hunger.
• My backache is not present.  I can’t say it’s gone, because I am not as active. I did do three loads of laundry one day and yesterday I walked around a full block (about 1/4 mile) with no back ache.
• My blood pressure numbers are going in the right direction - down!
• I am already fitting into my size 20s as I should, and not squeezing into them, with the back and the front out of line, my butt area pulling my dress up in the rear and in front the belly and waist jostling to twist the dress from side to side and me constantly pulling it down. 

The Bad

• Some gas remains in my rib cage.
• Low energy at times.
• I have stuck to the diet, however, this filling up of over 60 ounces of clear fluids daily is taxing and boring.
• My regularly timed bowel movement is off.  I never know when.  I need it to come back to first thing in the morning and last thing at night.  This is where my body clock works.

The Ugly

Nothing!  

Now unto the next phase - baby, I mean purée food.

The before and after photos below don't yet show much of a difference.