Thankfulness

My Dear Family:

During our Family Zoom on Sunday, June 21st, daughter Jo-Ann took us through a process of visioning and the Vision Board.  I completed mine after her session and continue to work on it.  Then this past Sunday on July 5th, niece Michelle took us through the Art of Attraction.  I watched one of the video on guided thankfulness and through tears, I cannot believe, I gave thanks for COVID.

One of the questions Jo-Ann asked and on which I pondered was the gift of COVID.  I wrote them down not as gifts but what I gained during the time of COVID.  I did not want to think that that bastardly devil could have brought me "gifts."  The session with Michelle and the prayer of thankfulness changed that.  COVID has brought me so much.  More than anything, it has given me you through Zoom (thanks Annie).  I am so grateful and thankful to see you each week.  You feed me.  Next it gave me nothing but time.  Time for a lot of reflection and action.  I started doing yoga.  Jo-Ann forced me to add workout as a gift on my Board.  I didn't want to because I don't think I have gained the right to do that as yet.  Yes, I now do yoga religiously, but the workout I need to do for wellness hasn't come as yet.  COVID gave me this blog; it awakened and enhanced my writing skills, with the possibility of publishing a book, BOOKS, if my ambition continues; it gave me a voice during this time of Black Lives Matter, and while I was not able to protest, it taught me how to express myself through poetry and performing it.  I have now added courage.  In my fight for Black Equity, I am risking my job as I go after institutions.  AND I DON'T CARE.  There was a time in my life when the fire in my belly would make me protest without care.  Later in life, I became more cautious.  I was worried about losing funding for my place of employment and if truth be told, I was also worried about losing my job.  Now, I can and will walk away.

Another question from Jo-Ann was gifts from our ancestors and I immediately went to my writing gift which comes from both parents through their storytelling (father) and performance (mother).  Today, I began to think more about it and there are so many gifts that I will have to update my Board:

• Fire in my belly from my mother  (Woah, did she have some fire!); 
• Peacefulness and the ability to appreciate quietude and my own company from my father; 
• A caring heart from both (if the Universe ever takes any and all gifts, this is the one I will beg to preserve); 
• Kindness from my mother who gave willingly and my father who knew how to hold on to a penny, but without him spending it, we wouldn't be where we are; 
• Ambition and drive from both (my father left the deep countryside to come to the city, opening a grocery store, purchasing property; my mother left Jamaica to come to the US, leaving behind the security and safety of her own home, where she had someone to do her housework to come to the US to do someone else's, looking for the mythical milk and honey of the US;
• The pursuit of education (they didn't do it for themselves, but they certainly did it for us, my mother finding us the best schools and my father going along with it; his dream for me was to be a school teacher, which I realized);
• Courage from both which goes along with above;
• Doing the best for my child, with the best of what I have and know from both (of course making mistakes along the way);
• Love of family from both. 

I can, and will, keep going and growing this list. 

Family, what are you thankful for?  Look beyond your pain and look to your pain.  You may just find that gift that is staring you in the face.  Face it.  Learn from it.  Turn it around.   Put it to use.

I am thankful for you.

A work in progress