Guest Author, Cecelia Rollins-Murriel
Medically “the virus” took you, my partner of 27 years. But 45 killed you. 45 is a murderer.
You were my governor, my lover, my friend, my companion.
Our cousin, as we sat at the dining room table to write your obituary said “the governance is gone.” Our Governor? Now I understand why you felt it was your responsibility to care for EVERYBODY. You knew what was best for our family, extended family, friends and strangers. I remember the stories of how you were the responsible adult at fourteen. You were the only one able to bring money into the household. You said often, “you have had a very sheltered protected life”.
I was in love with a protector. Even though it was extremely annoying! You never forgot to say “be careful” no matter where I was going as I went out the door. You are still in my head, “be careful on the ladder, on the stairs, in the car, lock up when all three of you are not home.” Our son has insisted on a Ring doorbell now that the sentry in the living room is not at his post.
I have known real unconditional love. Every time you opened your arms to me. Finding that place where I could hear your heart beat. Poor you, most nights I was instantly asleep and snoring. Now I don’t sleep at all. The bed is empty.
There is a CHASM now. Palpable. Quiet. Everything is different.
When this “stay at home” is over, what will I do? Will I want a companion or a new “roadie”?
CRAP I’m a widow! “It’s ok sugar britches, you got this”.
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| Wedding August, 24, 2008 |
What next? I dread the year of first. First Mother’s Day, First Birthday (yours), First Wedding Anniversary, First Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, my Birthday, J’s birthday, Valentine’s Day, J’s first apartment, his wedding, his first child.
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? You were my chief comforter, my go to person, my shelter, my protection. Gone. We were supposed to have at least twenty more years to annoy one another! I do not want to do this life without you! I am already doing so much without you.
“Good night Maw.” “Good night Paw.”
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| Valentines Night |
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| Bernice & Luis’ wedding |
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| US Tennis Open |
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| Rhode Island Jazz Festival |
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| Kappa New Orleans |
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| Stevie Wonder Concert, Madison Square Garden |
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| Manni/Pedi |
Cece, this is a beautiful tribute! I feel the love and I feel your pain. You were blessed with a wonderful husband, and so many good memories. Stay strong! Know that we are here for you and love you!��
ReplyDeleteDear Cece, what can I say. What a beautiful tribute to your relationship with your beloved Larry. We will all miss him. No more ‘What’s Larry having for breakfast/lunch/dinner when you were going out with your GURLS. You would laugh and say, “He’s good.” I love the wedding photo. Such a happy couple. Gone to soon. We are here for you. Much love ❤️
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