Juggling Pregnancy, Family And Work

Guest Author, Mary-Anne Awai Dawkins

In January, I found out news that I was pregnant with my 3^rd child.  Being over 40, I was a bit nervous about having another child but I know that God gave me this child for a reason and that he would be there to help me through this experience.  The next few months I went through all day nausea and some aches and pains that was more than I experienced with my last two children but overall, I stayed healthy.  On the news, they talked about a crisis with something called Corona Virus or Covid-19 in China, Italy and Iran.  I did not think much about it as it was far from the western part of the world.

Then in March, things changed with my surrounding environment.  The pandemic hit Canada, the USA and became a world-wide issue.  There was a lot of questions on what the future would hold for me, my family and our upcoming baby.  There was a lot of information on the internet and social media about where the virus came from.  My cousin told me she heard from a CBC news program that we should stock up on food.  I immediately went and purchased as much food as my fridge and pantry could hold despite my husband telling me that I was over reacting.  

While the kids were still on March break a friend asked for my daughter to come over and play.  I did not reject the request knowing that they only had one child who was quite lonely.  She told me about a movie she was watching that was trending on Netflix called Contagion.  This movie that was made in 2011, gave me a glimpse of what I thought was definitely science fiction.  However, as the days progressed and the news on the TV continued to bring about reports of this Coronavirus, it seemed that current events that were going on seemed to mimic some of the very things that happened in the movie.  Could things really get to that point?  Then the news announced that the children would not be going back to school after March break.  What was going on???  After hearing this news, I asked my boss if I could work from home while the kids were off after my vacation that I schedule for the end of March break. I was rejected. I was very upset about this news and wondered what I would do.

However, my company made a different decision as more news hit about the seriousness of the Covid-19 and the Pandemic increase around the world with information about social distancing.  It was announced the following week that they would be splitting our company of 30 into two teams and we would alternate working two days in the office and two days at home which also would include working every other Saturday.  My family vacation to a resort in Barrie was reluctantly cancelled as well as the time I had scheduled to be away from work and the new schedule took over.  I was a bit relieved with the schedule as I believed that it would allow for me to spend some extra time with the kids at home and to be able to isolate a bit more from the outside world.  News about the Covid-19 virus was all over the TV and internet.  They talked about kids being at less risk of getting the virus and at one point, my husband even reported to me that people who are pregnant have less of a chance of getting the virus.   Was this true?  I figured I would still do my best to protect myself and my family and see how things transformed over the following months. I stocked up on more groceries, canned items, pasta and frozen foods as they went on sale.  I got items that would prepare my family from a natural disaster as I did not know what to expect.  Overall, I tried my best not to stress about the situation that unfolded around me.  I continued to carry on with this new form of life.

In April, I had a mid-wife appointment that was done over the phone.  Since I was then 4 months pregnant and there was not much changes to report, I was ok with this new form of a medical appointment.  I continued with the work schedule of two days at home and two days in the office.  When I did go to work and I had to go to my properties, I wore a mask and gloves.  When possible, I would not go into the buildings and would have the superintendents bring the rent and mail to me outside.   My husband argued with me about going to work on Saturdays and not getting extra pay especially since we are Seventh Day Adventist.  But when everyone else, including the president has been coming in to work and with there not being any church services to go to, how can I argue and ask for special treatment.  As well, I felt blessed to still have a job during a time when so many people had lost their jobs due to the Corona Virus and the social distancing measures that were going into effect.   

The kids started online schooling, which was a step in learning for everyone.  More of my time was required to help the kids with homework and projects when at home.  Also, school for my son was announced at 9am every day, not allowing for much sleep-in time for me on my days at home.  I did all the groceries for my family including for my mother-in-law who did not dare to venture outside of the house.  With my husband working from home till 6pm every day and me already being outside of the home for work, it only made sense that I continue to take on this role.  Whenever at the grocery store, I wore gloves and a mask to ensure I was protected as per the guidelines.  (Thank God I had the foresight to get extra masks at a doctor’s appointment in February and from one of my tenants sending some extra masks for me as well) 

I celebrated my son’s 6^th birthday where my daughter accompanied me to purchase birthday decorations and cake.  She wore a mask and gloves on the outing but it was then I realized that she had not been in the car for about 6 weeks.  What a change from the usual everyday trip to school or coming back home from after-hours club, picking up food from takeout restaurants and going to tutoring and gymnastics.  We had a Zoom party for my son which turned out to be a lot of fun.  It was almost like having everyone at my house, only with less mess.  During this time, I took the best precautions I could like sanitizing my door knobs and wiping down commonly touched surfaces in the house to keep both me, my family and my baby safe overall.

In May, I was told from my boss that one of my properties would be given to another manager in preparation of me going on Maternity leave in August.  I was a bit upset by this as it seemed so soon, but I know it was also for the best and it also decreased my contact with tenants and any potential contaminated surfaces.  The kids remained at home as the government confirmed school being postponed until the end of May and they continued with their online classes.  This month I had an appointment at the midwives office.  They told me to call once I got to the location and to wait in my car till they let me know that I could come in.  Once there, the appointment was business as usual, only we both were wearing masks.  Then the nurse asked a question that I had been thinking about but did not know the answer to, “Where will you be having the baby?”  This question had been lingering on my mind as I watched the images on TV showing the contamination in the hospitals.  However, could I really have my baby at home?  Being over 40, I have to consider that there may be more risks associated with my birthing.  And if something were to go wrong, would it not be best to be in the hospital setting???  Seeing as it was only my 6^th month, the nurse told me to think about it as there was no rush as yet.

At work, as restrictions began to ease up a bit all over the city, closer to the end of May, people were becoming a bit more lenient.  People were not afraid to be close to each other in the office.  I even attended a meeting with some contractors where no one wore a mask.  I had my mask in my purse but felt uncomfortable about putting it on especially since the president of the company was at the meeting and I had to accompany him with an inspection around the building.

At the end of May, it was announced that schools would not be opening again until September and that there would also not be any summer camps to send the children to over the two month summer period. My daughter was very disappointed as she was looking forward to recreating the memories of previous summers at the Boys and Girls Club camp.  Luckily, my husband’s company let them know that they would be continuing with working from home until September, however, my company announced that they may be going back to having the full staff in the office sometime during the month of June.  I do have my own office which makes distancing easier in the office, however, we do tend to touch many surfaces like the photocopier throughout the day without it being cleaned.    

Once I have to go back to work 5 days a week, it will also be difficult to help out at home with the meals during the day for the kids when my husband only has one hour to feed them and as I get bigger each day, I will become more tired and not want to be cooking meals all the time.  As well, with no more school after June, the kids will be on their electronic devices even longer than they are now.  When I am home, I try to give them extra work and use the internet and programs in French, to help with reading and math for my son especially, as I do not want him to fall behind in his French skills for school.    My son already knows that when I am home, he has more work to do and always asks, when I am at home “Are you going to work tomorrow???”   

Every day, I watch the news and see the fluctuating numbers of people who have contracted the virus.  As the weather gets warmer, everyone wants to go out more and enjoy the limited sunshine that we have.  However, people are also tired of all the restrictions and some are starting to forget about the dangers of being around too many people causing the number of people getting contaminated to increase again.  I miss seeing my parents who I talk to everyday but they keep their distance due to my father not being well.  My mother has expressed her disappointment with possibly not being able to attend the birth and hold her newest grandchild.   This also makes me sad as my mother is my rock and she has been there for the birth of my other children.  What will it be like to give birth without her there?

With each passing day, I feel anxiety building with fear for lack of being prepared for this new coming child and what the world will be like that he will be born into.  I fear not being able to visit my family and friends once the baby is born.  I fear not being able to get adequate supplies to feed and care for my family.  I fear that once the kids return back to school that they can be susceptible to getting the virus from their friends and bring the virus home to me and the baby.  I fear that if there is a second wave of the virus, what new challenges it will bring for my family and the economy.  However, overall, I continue to pray and to put my faith and trust in Jesus that he will see me and my family through all of the trials and tribulations that may come and that he will lead us through whatever may come our way.  He has given me strength and blessings to make it through this far.  What’s to say that this will not change for the future.