To Test Or Not To Test

I am a plus one.  I haven't been a plus one in years.  YEARS.  I go to functions alone.  I live alone.  No one invites me to be their plus one.  Feeling bad for me?  Don't.  I know some of you are wishing you were a minus one right about now.  You have been quarantined with your wife/husband, children, for days now, all day long.  I saw a hilarious video recently when a man is being told he is be quarantined.  The dialogue goes like this:   

" Because of Corona Virus, you are going to be quarantined, but you have a choice.  A.  Do you quarantine with your wife and child or B..."   

"B, B, B."  he answers without waiting to find out what "B" is.

But that's not the kind of plus one I have become.  I was never tested for the Corona Virus while I suffered through it.  I am not among the count of positive test results.  You may ask me how do I know I had COVID-19 and not the flu.  My answer to you is I had whatever Chris Cuomo had.  When all these statistics keep changing day after day, with the numbers climbing, I and many more like me are not among the count.  There are many plus ones out there.  Add us to the count and it is much higher.  And it grows even more when you add the number of people who are asymptomatic, those walking around, serving you, treating you, some right in your households, who are virus positive and don't even know it.  If everyone gets tested, that number would go up exponentially, 

And those who are/were positive need to be retested before we reenter public spaces or go back around family members.  The fever left me on day 12 and I remained fever free for three days following.  The protocol says I could then go back into society, socially distancing.  I knew for sure I wasn't over it on day 15, so I continued my self isolation.   How many people are out there transmitting the disease to person after person after person?   When will we come to the realization:

Everybody needs to be tested.  Everybody. 

I have a negative test, actually, it says "not detected."  I was triggered when I first received a voicemail from Cindy of the New York State Department of Health who said she was calling to schedule me for an appointment at a drive through testing site.  The same testing site that turned me away, rejected, defeated and in tears.  The same New York State Department of Health who took 30 days to call me back.  Her call triggered my feeling of dejection and for days after Cindy's call, tears would well. When I received the second call a week later, family and friends had already convinced me to test so I said "yes."  But then the questions came, Why now?  Why waste a test of me?  Is this a conspiracy where they want to have me as a part of their negative stats, not adding to the positives?  What was this going to do for me?  I struggled, but decided for my own peace of mind to do it.   

What do I do with my negative "not detected" test?  I know for one thing, I don't want to be around you anymore than you wanted to be around me when I was positive. Therefore, my self quarantine continues.  I would like to be checked for antibodies.  I would like to donate plasma.  But even that is questionable.  It is said that because I didn't have a positive test, I am not eligible to donate plasma or to test for antibodies.  Does that even make sense?  Has it changed?  This is a moving target and things keep changing day by day.  I have signed up with the CDC for a study.  It's been three weeks and no calls, no follow-through. I know this is new, but it's been almost two months since we knew of the first case in the United States, time enough for the powers that be to get it together.

Start testing everybody for COVID-19 and start testing everyone who had COVID-19 for antibodies, whether we were tested or not.  




After surviving COVID-19, I started to write, giving birth to The Corona Chronicles, my daily thoughts and musings.  I find writing therapeutic. It's my personal journey through COVID-19.  It will give insight into the suffering, but also the goodness of people.  Heather's Dawning is made up of my first (Heather) and pet (Dawn) names. It's my awakening.  Covid-19 may have knocked me down, but it also awakened my creativity.